BEBE NUMERO 2

I cannot count how many times I have meant to sit down and write and have almost done it, but then thought of something else I'd rather do. But tonight I finally picked myself up and grabbed the computer and finally 3 months later here I am. 3 months how crazy is that?

Last time I wrote I was not aware that I was pregnant. Now I am very very aware that I am pregnant. Hence the three month hiatus. I am in my second trimester and lets just say first trimester you will NOT be missed. I literally feel like I just got out of a dark depressing very dark cloud and can finally feel the sunshine again. Pregnancy what a life! My goodness does it suck. But oh is it worth it. At nights after very long sick days I will close my eyes and picture those chubby perfect little cheeks, those tiny wrinkly feet, and oh those so so cute little tiny hands that love to wrap around mommy fingers. That keeps me going day after day.

 I have gained such an appreciation for the amazingly loving daughter that I have. One day after Stephen being gone for his 70 hour insane weeks of tons of stuff, he was finally home, it was late and I was done. I was done being pregnant. I was done being hormonal. I was done being sick and cranky and useless and exhausted. Isabella and Stephen were playing and I just sat down on the hallway and balled my eyes out. I just couldn't stop. Isabella came up to me so concerned and would wipe my tears away and kiss me so gently and wrap her little arms around me as she patted me on the back like such a little mommy. She is blossoming so beautifully. Everyday I look at her and my heart just swells. I just have this feeling that she is going to be a wonderful big sis. Bebe doesn't know what's coming because he/she is going to be drowned in so much love everyday from his two mommies. I can't even explain what a support Stephen has been. I just don't know how he does everything he does. His strength, energy, and capacity to love just humble me. Never have I felt more grateful for having a strong priesthood holder in my home.

Because this pregnancy has been so much harder I have also felt a greater appreciation for this baby. I feel such a need to connect with it and try and remember what is really happening inside me. I can truly feel him/her inside of me sometimes even though I have felt no kicks. I am overwhelmed with love and joy when I picture the first time I see baby's little face and body. I used to think I didn't like newborns because they were so much work, but I have surprised myself by missing that stage so much and looking forward to that tiny little body cradled against me day and night.

I do have to mention somewhere in here the intense dreams I have been having. I either have horrible nightmares or very weird vivid dreams. My favorite one so far was when I went into labor in my old house in Honduras. Everyone was there and all of a sudden I gave birth to a hamster. It was huge and I was terrified. Everyone told me it was the most normal thing to have a hamster before you had a baby and not to worry the baby was coming after. Every time I think about it I shudder. It was so real!

But I am done! First trimester is gone amigos. Thank goodness. The sun is out, life is great and it is family prime time. Isabella and I get to hang out in our swimsuits half of the day so that is also wonderful.

I need some baby bump pictures.