MOM DAYS CAN BE LONG

Although my days are filled with playdates, mom dates, church meetings, story times, little adventures, soccer, time with Stephen, tumbling, swimming, and all those fun moments we enjoy and seamlessly pass by, my days are also filled with hours of dishes, eternal messes, helping little people, my worst enemy laundry, and meals meals and more meals. Because we live in a little town with no family around I think that I can feel extra lonely sometimes. And it is also winter right now so we are confined to the house a lot.  Stephen works long hours and I spend most of my time alone with the girls. On top of a lot of little people activities housework is just never ending and can get so monotonous and well boring. It is hard for me to find these tasks meaningful and at times when my day is filled with mostly housework tasks it can be downright depressing.

A couple months ago I discovered some amazing resources that have truly changed my mom life: podcasts and audio books. I just can't even explain what a difference they've made in my mom life. In case you don't know podcasts is an app on phones where you can listen to radio shows recorded by pretty much any organization or person about different topics. It's free you just subscribe to them. I've listened to stuff about the importance of teaching diversity and tolerance in the home, an interview about a mom who takes care of hospice babies, what it is like to live on a farm with children and the values they can learn, what training for a iron man race is like, different preschool options, how to make Christmas service centered, technology and the impact it has had on society especially children and other thought provoking segments. 

I follow three that I love: Eyeres on the Road, BYU Speeches, Power of Mom Radio, and Exceptional Moms. Power of Moms is amazing. I just can't say enough about it.

I listen to them while I make breakfast, while i fold laundry, clean the kitchen, while I workout, when I take the girls to the park, the list goes on. It almost feels like I have mentors and friends right there with me talking about things I am going through, sharing advice or just different ways to parent or live. I have found that listening to older mom's who are reaping the reward of years and years of hard work raising little ones, can energize me and fill me with purpose while doing the little things that can seem meaningless and boring but truly are shaping my kids. I also love how listening to these makes those tasks I dread sometimes ,be more enjoyable and go by so much quicker and seemingly effortless. Because lets be honest how much brain power does doing a load of dishes take? nada.

Now lets talk about audiobooks for a second. I mean seriously how have I gone through years without audible??? Audible isn't free but I think it is worth the monthly subscription. these are the moments were I am so so so grateful for technology. Anyone who knows me knows I have been a bookworm since 4th grade. Historical Ficition, Sci fi, Fantasy, Romances you name it I will read it.  Non ficition on the other hand has always been a goal of mine but I just can't seem to find the desire to lay down during nap time or at nights and think again. During those times honestly I just want to shut my brain off. I've read a handful of non fiction on my spare time over the years but not even close to how much I wish I did. But this last year I have learned something that might seem obvious but has been life changing to me: I am a non fiction audio learner. Listening just works so much better for me. Multi tasking while I listen also helps me focus.

Podcasts and Audiobooks help me feel less lonely and my brain feels like it is being used again. Besides remembering daniel the tiger songs, creating a paint masterpiece of a starfish, or building a sculpture of play dough of course. Anyways I've rambled long enough here are some of my favorite books I have listened to lately:

Mom Confessions

Throughout the day sometimes I find myself writing imaginary blog posts about mom confessions I have. Stuff that might be hard to share but I know I KNOW someone else is feeling or could learn from. I picture Isabella or Olivia one day as young moms with their own little ones at their feet "i want apple juice!" "why isn't it movie time?" "2 hours?! are you kidding me?! that is forever from now!" "mommy can you wipe my butt? i pooped" "mommy Oli just pooped" "mom i need you!" "mommy I'm hungry!" "mommy can we play cook cook?" "mommy your name is rainbow dash!" "mommy i need it now!" " mommy when is daddy going to be home? I miss him" and I imagine them as overwhelmed, tired, lonely and anxious as I feel sometime. Of course our days are filled with beautiful moments that make me teary eyed and thank my lucky stars for getting to be the mom of these amazing girls  but those moments are easily recorded and shared. It is those moments when you are at your wits end, when your patience is tried and you become a witch and the children seem like little monsters, those are the moments that we as moms tend to just push to the back corners of our memories never to be thought of, analyzed or heaven forbid recorded. But I have found in the last year some amazing brave moms who have put themselves out there in vulnerable ways and have at least to this one young mom in a small town in Missouri given a safe place to find comfort, advice and sometimes just strength that comes from realizing you are not alone. So to my girls Isabella, Olivia, any other little girl I might have some day, and any mom out there feeling like they are about to pull there hair out and jump out the window these are my mom confessions.

Talking with Isabella

bella: "Mom how old is Jesus?"
me: He is pretty old
bella: "Oh he must be like six or seven years old!"

I'm in the bathroom with the door locked for privacy from little monsters
bella bangs on the door: "You have to be kidding me! you locked the door! I have to poop too!

Recent Prayer:
"Heavenly father please bless all the little children in the world that they can have pizza, actually pepperoni pizza, blankets, and that they can watch Octonauts. help me to be brave and strong. Amen!"

I'm scolding her for hitting Olivia this morning because she destroyed her road of blocks
"well mom i don't have time to talk to you because....well i have to go to a party... so bye!"
runs off

"this is boring I don't like slow music I want fast music!"

"have you seen Lego Batman? it is so funny! There is this part when Robin throws his pants at Batman and says it's better!"

HI

Lately I have been feeling like I have so many thoughts and mixed feelings of all sorts that I need to let out. I keep thinking of this little space in the internet I created a long time ago and how maybe here is were I should let all those thoughts out. Boring mom stuff don't get excited if anything just for the benefit of me spilling my brains out while the girls nap. I've been meaning to do it for weeks but is so so hard to give up glorious sacred nap time to write. Nap time is when i am allowed to lay down, turn my brain off and just RELAX. But there is a small clear voice that keeps whispering in my ear to write and record these sweet simple moments we are living right now. So small clear voice I'm back.